Hi, it's Me.

So it's 2024. And it's been pretty silent lately—and peaceful mostly.

I decided to write because I woke up this morning flooded with messages from one of our best of friends. He just found out that he was cheated by his ex girlfriend almost 3yrs now. We used to talk about how he can't fully commit to a serious relationship because he's still somehow hoping for that woman. That cheating reveal reminded me how I cheated on us.

The thing is, it's wrong. Nothing to justify there. But I'd like to add something because of those act.

The moment I accidentally met someone and they set the baseline pretty high, that's when I start wondering if all this time I have been accepting the bare minimum. I know it was unfair—damn unfair—but you know that feeling right? I forgot her name.. was it Reena? She was a med student and his father was a retired policeman just like you. Damn she's beautiful, smart, and near. But that was over now. The thing is, you get what I meant by the change of baseline.

Okay, this is not gaslighting. I know what I did is still wrong.

Point is, women don't just "fall out of love." The pain, struggles, and discouraging motives are compounded through time until someone comes up with a better demeanor, a symbol of epiphany that all this time, they've been tolerating the kind of love that was not fit for their worth but only fit for his worth. I mean, okay, I was not high and mighty back then, that's for sure. And it was love but situations change us. People changed us.

Anyway...

It is what it is.