Not as Expected

It was our first month. Was it supposed to be special? It didn't happen.

That dawn, we whispered our greetings and "I love you"s and it felt good. But that morning, when I woke up, there were no messages--not even a blank message in my inbox. And then I remember you saying how you'll be very busy that day. I understand but I am saddened too.

The day prolonged and as the time ticked, I am getting sadder. Still, no messages.

I was talking to Lao that late morning when I was in school. I remember how disappointed I was and he listened. I asked Lao if you and I are compatible. Or maybe we're just the people being offered when we need one. Or maybe I love you but I don't love you enough for me to wonder continuously. Then Lao stopped me. He said I chose you for a reason--could be love? He's not sure--but what he's pretty sure about is that you're very special to me because after the endless search and waiting game, I ended up choosing love with you.

And so I was convinced and reminded how I love you babe.

That afternoon, I received you love text message and you have no idea how big my smile was. I asked you to call me but you didn't. Said you're running out of battery and you're leaving for another appointment. That familiar crushing of my heart returned.

Babe, that night, I tried to stay awake. It was already 10 when I decided to give it a break. I slept with a heavy heart and frustration on how we celebrated the first.

But you know I can't stay angry with you right?

Your very early morning call made my day and we talked and you explained. Surprisingly, I hear no anger in my heart because I miss you more that these excuses of being disappointed with how you were too busy with life. I told myself that there will be more months to celebrate our love and the first will only be the beginning.

I love you Mark come what may.