Flipping the Next Chapters (Moving On Phase)

Time check: 09:10 am

Location: Workplace Study Hub,

Banawa, Cebu City

It was 5:30 this morning when the alarm went off. Just another day, I thought. But today marked the 10th day before THE DAY. My board exam is on April 23-23 and that's less than 2 weeks away. Am I excited? Definitely! Am I scared? Totally. It's like for the past few days, I've been edgy. I even colored my hair for goodness' sake and I was told it was okay. It was normal. Everyone is quite miserable these days waiting for exams, missing home after almost half a year of grind. Me? I just want all these to be over with.

I go to church on Saturdays and 2 weekends ago, I found myself shivering and crying as I ask for prayers that we will be successful in our endeavor and that whatever the result of the exam, we will have patience, understanding, and acceptance in our hearts but we pray for a positive result, asking God so dearly to get through our exam with a calm mind so we can retain what we have been prepping for last 6 months. It was thrilling but very scary at the same time. But I know it will be worth it.

So... moving on.

Yeah, we have been moving on. And Mark seemed to have moved on. He's in a better place, rebuilding himself and figuring out life without me. I think he's doing just fine. I made it a point not to talk to him just yet until I figure out what I want in my life as well. I am honestly happy with how he's taking things on his own. It just saddens me he's doing so well without me. But that's life and it's a matter of time before I will finally accept that there are no loose threads after all. We don't need closure.

No answer is already an answer, after all.

I am here focused on my growth.

I started to open my heart again to kind people, yet still tiptoeing on their intentions of course. That's how we learn. We make it possible to get through the daily heartaches and struggles, battling our wars in silence. I still see goodness in every single person I meet but expect less from them. I still laugh and hang out with a newfound circle of acquaintances. I go for long walks thrice a week or more frequently when my brain is not working in my favor. I have accepted small helo from strangers, letting them carry my grocery. I listen to masculine voices who are trying to get my heart but I don't jump immediately. I like slow pace stories. It gives me time to see if it's worth it.

I have no man to introduce as I write this.

I have a few on my list but nothing deep from my own perspective.

Man 1: The Engineer

Informed him I redeemed data from reward points because I was in the middle of my exam. Out of the blue, I received a 2-week worth load. He asked me if I could send my current location (which I did), and 20 minutes later, Food Panda called me. Food delivery is ordered miles from me. Wow.

Man 2: The Islander

He has to check on something at Ayala Mall when he invited me over. I told him I'll buy groceries. He offered to carry it for me. So I bought some supplies and we hang out, sitting on the green grass at IT Park, talking like old friends, before heading home with my groceries. I think I like his voice especially when he calls me before I go to bed. Like a lullaby or something.

Man 3: The Businessman

Long story short, he bought a unit for Airbnb rentals. He offered it for free when I decide to stay for a night or two before I fly back to Zamboanga City after board exams. It's a small thank-you gesture for helping him out back in college. I used to tutor my whole class back in the day.

Man 4: The Baby Boy

Never met this "baby boy" but we go to the same review center. He can be very stubborn and quite straightforward about what he wants. He can be very helpful in my review journey, sending me materials that will be the keys to our success.

The rest is a come-and-go kind of pep talk. Obviously, not a priority but simply the flavor of the week kind of pegs.

Guess this is part of moving on. I love the experience of being single. I was never one since I dated Mark and went through the next guy and stopped after that. It was the longest time I am single since that breakup. Love it!